Monday, August 22, 2005

Hope

I sit in my room staring at my hands. They speak of my sins. Tangled in the net of my own doings, I find myself falling into nothingness. It’s black all around me. Voices come out of latent mouths; mockery slaps my face, evil laughter penetrates my ears, resulting in my grimaced face.

My sins dance in front of me, like dancing girls, dressed in pink glittery frocks, faces shimmering with make up, assembled on a stage, ready to show what they’ve prepared for the audience to see. Music enters my ears, like a knife enters a juicy fruit only to split it into pieces. My sins perform one after the other and after hundreds of hours they all finish dancing.

Silence gathers around me, watches me like a child watches a stranger with questioning eyes. I drop my gaze to the floor, filled with shame and regret. My eyes see a dot of light growing larger and larger in size. It creeps on me, starting from my feet, gradually up till my head. I look at the golden glow of my hair in the mirror, hanging loosely on the wall in front of me.

I reluctantly look up, and see a huge ray of light falling upon me, embracing me with its glowing arms, like a mother embraces her child for protection. I bathe in the dust particles swimming in the stream of light. Hope comes, sits with me, takes my hand into hers and speaks unto me a message.

The message is of hope, a hope to live and start a new life, a hope to come out of the aggressive, loathing shadows of darkness, a hope to wash my sinful hands. I wipe away my tears, which like dew drops fall from the tips of leaves, once fell from my eyes. I stand up, straighten the loosely hanging mirror and look at my face. I smile to myself and to my new life that welcomes me with arms wide open.

The One Who Lives In My Heart

Broken are the mirrors of my soul
Misty loneliness is spread all over
A desert of my painful nostalgia
Is flooded with my tears.
In the darkness of every night
The wounds of my heart burn
When he refuses to concede me
To break my innocent desires
With such cruel intentions
Yes! He’s the one who lives in my heart

I’ve lost all my dreams
Dreams… that were my only anticipation
To endure in this malicious world
When I think about the beautiful times
That belonged to you and I
Those times seem to drift away
It makes me shiver, as I taste my tears
While I cry thinking
Of the one who lives in my heart.

The severity of your serene memories
Clench my heart so tightly
I see my euphoria falling
Into the sea of my tears
With my eyes so full of cravings
I see so far away
Yet no happiness seems to be in sight
So I keep no expectations
From the one who lives in my heart.

Now that I’m left all alone
Alone to bear the anguish
To bear the pain of feeling lost
Lost in the world of shadows
But no one can feel the pain
Except my shadow my existence and me
Not even the one who lives in my heart.